Leader Tape is what you write when you don’t know how to start a piece. Let’s say you get a writer’s prompt and you really want to write but your brain is saying, “I really don’t.”

It might not be the brain that doesn’t want to write. It might be the ego. I am no psychologist but I believe the ego’s job is to stay in control.

If the heart needs to heal something and the brain starts spitting out the words, often a voice within might say:

          “Shut up.”

          “No one wants to hear this.”

          “Don’t air dirty laundry.”

          “That’s too private, too personal, write that and you exposed.”

Being exposed is scary. Sure. Maybe someone else will forget what you exposed to yourself, but in today’s world, you never know what someone will do with an exposed picture, thought, story, or relationship.

One can worry about the consequences for days but something wants to come out, need release, is about to combust… and a writer knows that getting words onto the page gives that release. A writer must do what a writer is built deep within to do.

 

Leader Tape, I’ve been told by a very trusted source, is how you begin a piece. I’m beginning. I have been writing a diary since I was 12.  I am 60 now. I’ve said for years I probably won’t really write what I must write until my parents have both left the planet. She just left at 85. He let two years prior at 85.

Writing in my diary saved my sanity when I was young with too much stress and no voice to say NO. I took on that stress to get away from another stress. I know this is vague. But it won’t be for much longer.

I’ve had chronic cancer for 10 years and 7 months. I pack lymph when I have gathered too much info, toxic or otherwise, and it just collects and pools because I don’t write it out or move it out… I doubt there are many seriously competing athletes that have CLL. 

My blood currently looks good but my groins have been packed for a month. It hurt more at the beginning, but I’ve started doing Castor Oil Packs at night on them and resigning myself to start writing and do what I cam here to do.  When I first started writing it as a means to an end. My life, especially as it got busier and more exciting, successful from any external POV… yet within I still had the same insecurities, the doubt even though looking back now I see I had no reason to feel that way.

I chose not to have children but if I can leave behind me something that helps young uns stop doubting sooner because they realize what voices to listen to sooner.

Then I’ve given a valuable gift and this story, and all Leader Tape it takes to get it going and out there will be worth it. 

Next Post

What kind of leader was I? The Scolding kind.

Wed Aug 12 , 2020
Once I won a Presidency, I had a four-year run where I was known as a female leader. Once I had proven my electability and was known as a go-getter who got things done, my responsibilities expanded. During my senior year, I was on the Rose Float Committee until New Year’s. All student body presidents in our city attended a meeting where it was our responsibility to nominate one of us to be the first Student Representative on the Board of Education. They chose me. Every week I went to the LBUSD offices and sat on the board for a […]

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