little girl on beachThe sensuality class is heating up. But of course, it’s Spring time. Today started out discussing heat cycles. This is something I’ve come to notice about myself in the past two years. This isn’t something I ever thought about ten years ago, or even twenty years ago. I was so into the heat of it all then it’s as if my brain was too hot to really get logical about it all.

Of course animals have mating “seasons” and other times when they aren’t fertile or furtive or interested in being bothered or touched or climbed onto or approached. Other times when they called out and didn’t necessarily care who came running.

But the female human has such a big brain she can basically decide when she wants to get hot or not.

When writing my book and reading again so many experiences I had when younger, then charting my longer relationships ebbs and flows I became very aware that there were times I was hyper sensitive and interested, almost too hot to touch and times when even getting everything on my list crossed off couldn’t stir me to stand up.

What is fascinating about this class is that there is a logic that gets illuminated that otherwise gets lost in the shuffle of modern life. There are exercises that encourage a person to take what they are learning and create an exercise or experience which expands their pleasure in a variety of safe and sensual ways.

The experience today called SPECIFIC FRAMES reminded me of the story BREAD CRUMBS I put in my book. My editor tried to get me to change the name for the longest time. We even researched Hansel and Gretel. I was horrified when I learned just how violent the actual story was, not the fairy tale I remember where both kids get out alive. But I love reading my BREAD CRUMBS story because every time I do, I remember each and every step along the way that night. I remember what I was wearing and how he reacted. I remember what we did on the chair before ever getting to the bed. BREAD CRUMBS is a story I tried to tame down for public consumption, yet my brother encouraged me to keep it as raw and real as I wrote it. Celebrating my 36th anniversary with FOG reminded me of the many March 25th’s we got to celebrate in the past. As men age their cycle changes immensely. It’s wonderful I kept such a record of his earlier days when he was so hot I hardly had a head in heated exchange. It’s nice to remember, like that best vacation ever, or the time I first saw the view from the Campanile in Berkeley. There are some moments we don’t forget. What a gift it is if we actually made notes and can remember exact details that would have unfortunately gotten lost in the rush of advancing time.